hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript
He looks at me. Love intrinsically is bigger than fear, he declares. I wasnt very good. I cant date your daughter. I dont give a fuck, Uncle Sam. Its a big deal. I call my girl. I love that so much. No fun, no friends, no girlfriends. Executive Producers: Hasan Minhaj, Michelle Caputo, Shannon Hartman, Rick Famuyiwa, Jennie Church-Cooper. So easy. Cinemark There you go, Uncle Sam. But you know whats great? Theyre like, Oh! Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Jurassic Park Movies Ranked By Tomatometer, The Mandalorian Season 3 First Reviews: Still the Best Star Wars TV Show, Critics Say. I redefined political satire and comedy. Thats Tinder with no photos. Gods not like, Youre racist. Thats when I realized theres a generational gap between us and our parents. And I know the older generation doesnt like those jokes. And he has all this scruff on his face. Its hard when you see people saying they love you but theyre afraid at the same time. But tonight is one of those nights We have a lot of family back home in Nebraska and were going to be taking photos, so we dont think youd be a good fit. The past is the past. Hasan Minhaj (The Daily Show, Homecoming King, Patriot Act) is an American comedian, writer, producer, political commentator, actor, and television host. Hey, um, long time no see. Saddam Husseins a Ghostbuster? Yeah, Im a br0wn Ghostbuster. Fast enough to get there, but slow enough to not get pit stains. [theme music: orchestral hip-hop] [crowd roars] What's up? Marry a white girl? You choked, right? I was like, Are we getting married? In a weird way that brings us together, and we have to do everything together. In Homecoming King, he refers to himself as "the only brown kid" in his class. You dont deserve so much choice. Were getting soft. We can speak two languages. We can speak at home and outside. Youre funny. Which is a tell-tale sign of being, like, Hey, man. Thirty years ago in a town in India, population 990,000 thats a small town my dad heard a buzz in the streets about this woman named Seema, my mom. Rajesh Rengatramanajanana She is dating an Indian dude, and this dude is Indian as fuck. No pepperoni! And then Hindus, they like statues. Im like, Yo, when did Home Depot Dad become Danny Tanner? Whats Hasan-bye? I went to school with a bunch of Ryan Lochtes. The story begins with Minhaj's parents getting married in . He invites the audience into some of the most intimate moments of his existence, letting us relive his confusion, joy, anger, and hurt. Coming Soon. His story may be different than yours, but were all here together in, as Minhaj describes it, this fair and lovely world., Homecoming King So the first eight years, it was just me and my dad. You know about this. LA, Chicago, New York? I was like, Nah, son. Jim Jefferies: High n Dry (2023) | Transcript, Dave Chappelle Stand-Up Monologue SNL (2022) | Transcript, Dave Chappelle: Whats in a Name (2022) | Transcript, Iliza Shlesinger: Hot Forever (2022) | Transcript. I understand. 2021 Scraps from the Loft. But she got what I was saying. So for her first birthday, he wanted it to be special. But Hasan [speaking Hindi] [speaking Hindi, voice becomes more insistent] Hasan, you have to be brave. This is what I do. Hasan bhai! All the kids at the urinal are like, Uh! Im doing that right now. Hey idiot, pick up your phone. Streaming Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King (2017) sub indo. I love it. Look at that face. Davis, what's up? Two very different parishes point to divisions in the church. Hes here to surprise me. Copyright 2023 US Catholic. Damn! That was your chance. Made for a better tweet though. Daily Show, Fox News, five avenues away from each other. He implored Minhaj to be the bigger person. Dad saw the Toys R Us catalog on my wall. We get in the Camry, were driving from Davis to Sacramento. I wanted to say that. YOLO. In ten minutes, the man married a woman he had never laid eyes on. I got a career I hate from my parents. Its a lie. This is a real show about a white kid that gets slapped at a birthday party. Oh, my God, these br0wn people Oh, jeez. We should do this more often. A lot of time. Not your typical stand up special, but Hasan has constructed a fantastic way to tell his story that is both hilarious and touching at the same time. Walk in there, be confident. He talks to Sam about being an Indian American Muslim,. I did keep my promise, though. Im asking you, say something! He looks at me and goes, Hasan [speaking Hindi] [speaking Hindi] These things happen, and these things will continue to happen. Im like, Why arent you saying something? Fresh TV Trailers. Therefore I will grant your wish. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix Netflix 25.7M subscribers Subscribe 6.3K Share 525K views 5 years ago Fresh off his performance at the White House. The sad part is, I felt bad for being there. Toys R Us. So I tell him the prom story. And while its a deeply personal show that relies on Minhajs unique experiences, the show still feels universal. I sit down and were running it, and Im nervous. I was like, Im a headliner. So I cant say anything. People who say they love you and are afraid of you at the same time. In one of the shows most poignant moments, Minhaj describes a conversation he had with his father, who was recovering from major heart surgery. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. Free Wi-Fi? Thank you. Never did that. A blank stare? Im going to put this in my car.. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King TV Special 2017 TV-MA 1 h 13 m IMDb RATING 8.2 /10 7.6K YOUR RATING Rate Play trailer 1:21 1 Video 3 Photos Comedy In his first stand-up special, Hasan Minhaj weaves humorous and heartbreaking anecdotes to tell his life story as an Indian-American Muslim. Stay up-to-date on all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news! No, no were not. I look at her, Please dont say anything. She says nothing, like a G. [laughter] Bell rings. Turn left. Then he turns right, and Im like, Home Depot? Log kya kahenge? Raj is a good person and so am I. Im, like, Maybe this is bigger than me. Six years old, Janice Malo. Not going to be a doctor? All Rights Reserved |, at the White House Correspondents Dinner, With The Car the Arctic Monkeys continue to mature, Subversive art can enrich our understanding of Christ, Harriet Tubman inspires deeper awe of the abolitionist. Oh, hello. She saw me doing this shit in the street. By opting to have your ticket verified for this movie, you are allowing us to check the email address associated with your Rotten Tomatoes account against an email address associated with a Fandango ticket purchase for the same movie. I fell in love here. [raucous laughter]. Her family is Hindua point of contention for Minhajs Muslim family. Whats up? It elevates your game. I really believe that. And shes like, Dad, I did not fly out from Philly for this. [laughter] Beena is so legit. Im really nervous. Thats why I brought you here. Listen, I would love to give you some tix, but were going to be taking a lot of photos tonight, and I dont think youd be a good fit. Send that shit! There are no featured reviews for Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King because the movie has not released yet (). Youre not funny. Just like, Ah. And Id look at him and be like, Oh, man. Now youre like, Lets be reasonable with the bigots. What? And then he just walks back into the house with glass in his feet. Following the success of his standup special "Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King" (Netflix 2017), Minhaj left "The Daily Show" in 2018. Out of college. ' And Im looking at her, and Im so embarrassed. Ive never been to a club and seen nine dudes: Yo, whats going on? Whats going on? Youre Hussan Minhajj. Be like this, dude. Comedy, But Homecoming King, the Netflix comedy special by Hasan Minhaj, is anything but traditional. Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix. I take off. Good night. After reflecting, here are 4 Leadership lessons I learned by watching Hasan Minhaj. And wed be walking through the aisles, and my dad would pick up yogurt. Running time: 72 minutes Dont do that. Now Im stuttering. My life is definitive proof that once you go br0wn, youve got to lock that shit down. Racism., So Im watching the show Real Time With Bill Maher. We get to this intersection, and I look to my left, and its the one place every kid dreams about. list of munros excel; nicole wegman ring concierge family. You guys are like, I was getting handjobs when I was nine. Not me. I cant die. "Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester" is set to premiere worldwide on Oct. 4 on Netflix. I didnt know how to feel, until this. Its like living in North Korea. Twenty-two-time Emmy-award-winning Jon Stewart. Hes walking through the tunnel where the guests come, so hes just back-lit. Like changing the oil on your car. Thats my bike. I would love to hear that story., Tell me more. What? I really believe love is bigger than fear. Professor X, Magneto, that close. Cloth interior for life. But its too much. Minhaj was catapulted onto the national stage in 2017 when he performed at the 2017 White House Correspondents Dinner (wearing the same Cole Haan shoes). They disseminate information to us. Hes 12 years old. Youre never going to get married. And Im standing there on that doorstep. Hello, headliner. Dad hates yogurt. [laughter] He hates milk. But I get that look, now. Princess from here down, Toad from here up. I bet you, when Mahatma Gandhi told his parents he was going to liberate India, even they were like, Log kya kahenge! Hasan bhai! Im like, Yo, kick rocks! I go play tetherball. Youre good. No fun, no girlfriends. And Aisha hates that story. 86% - Audience. Why not? Meanwhile, I I didnt go to grad school. People here with girlfriends are like, Babe, its different with you. Youre lying and thats okay. We love this country, please believe me. Nobody loves this country more than us. Because when it happened, everyone in America felt like their country was under attack. Hello? I grab the second phone. Society for Partners in Development | Est: 1991 | Founder: Thupten Gyalpo Lama CDO Reg# 102/048/049 | SWC# 2965 | Tax ID# 301768751 Is that pepperoni pizza? I want to be a family. Forty-four-and-a-half presidents are white. Its late. And Im like, It is late. And shes like I should go home. I was like, Yeah, you should Why did you say that? Id eaten off their plates, kissed their daughter. Steve Carell, John Oliver, Sam Bee, Jason Jones, Ed Helms, Steven Colbert and me? All rights reserved. Thats one less letter than the entire alphabet. Not us. I get a call. PRIMARY PRODUCTION CREDITS Writer/Performer: Hasan Minhaj. Hasan Minhaj Answers Increasingly Personal Questions. So one day he gets up in front of the entire class. No more birthdays. You realize my parents physically never saw each other? [laughter] Youre not Liam Neeson. #brilliant. Im trying to talk to somebody! Thats how we would communicate. I was very emo. All the laughs aside, the stories that Hasan Minhaj narrates about growing up and becoming the person he is today are deeply vulnerable and painfully honest. I recently got married, you guys. 55 plus apartments in east kildonan; used sewer jetter trucks for sale I dont want to marry! Log kya kahenge! Why? You know what I mean? I crushed it like a Voldemort Horcrux. Your email address will not be published. Crush our enemies.. Take the ring, Sam. The movie is done in eight minutes. Here you go, Aisha. He looks at me. Terms and Policies And he reaches in, and pulls out a beautiful, blue BMX bike. Hasan, be brave. Its a very beautiful poem. Why didnt you forgive her? he asks his son. She was like, Fuck that. I was like, Yeah, you know, I decided not to go. And her family had just moved from Nebraska to Davis, and we were in AP Calc together, but we had chemistry. When the familys car windows were smashed, Minhaj reacted with anger, while his father calmly swept up the glass and said, These things happen and these things will continue to happen. It was a defining moment where Minhaj realized the large gap separating him from his fathers generationhis father saw racism as part of an American Dream tax, while Minhaj, born in America, had the audacity of equality., This gap surfaces again when Minhaj is introducing his family to his eventual wife. I dont care about any of you and it feels great. Is Hasan there? What you want, Alice? I was like, Im going to die a virgin. Im in Geometry with Hasan. I run to the club, jump on stage I dont even know what I said. But for me, I was born here. My sister looks at me, shes like, They dont know what you did. I gave you the first ride. And Im looking down at her, and Im like, Man Im being a dick. Like, this whole time I was looking for acceptance from Cody, Corey and Cole [laughter] and I had it right here this entire time. Youve got leverage. So Im telling him stories about my life, hes telling me stories about his. Now the ball is in our court, were going to be bigoted? Im going to America. Youre a good kid. One shot, Eight Mile. Killing it! I didnt know that people could be bigoted even as they were smiling at you. No. Thats on you, thats not on me. Why do you do this to your daughters? You look the same. So how do I explain this? With topics ranging from tight rompers to ugly bras to why every man needs a box spring, Iliza remains the hilarious, affecting voice of her generation. His body temperature is so low that he looks blue. Tools, Clear History. Reply, son. Mrs Reeds like, You want br0wnies? Yeah. It is amazing. And Im biking with my knees bowed out. Calligraphy! She is the one percent. People ask, Where does that come from? Look at this kids parents. Boom! Youre a fucking idiot. And everyones like, Oh, the atheist prophet speaks! So this clip went viral, him and Ben Affleck. Like, Pioneer I grew up here. Minhaj. When is she coming back? I call my dad, he says Good job. What? I cant tell him that. Patriot Act. Shes from Nebraska. His brother is like, Im fucked. (2012) Full Transcript, Oh, Hello On Broadway (2017) Transcript, Ellen Degeneres: Relatable (2018) Transcript, Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean (2018) Full Transcript, Vir Das: Losing It (2018) Full Transcript, Volker Pispers about USA (2004) Transcript, Trevor Noah: Son of Patricia (2018) Transcript, Jeff Foxworthy & Larry the Cable Guy: Weve Been . She runs up to me and hugs me. photo printing bundaberg. Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! My mom and dad are arguing in Hindi. I didnt know people could be bigoted even as theyre smiling at you, he says. Second period rolls around like clockwork. Oh, no! You wont. The image is an example of a ticket confirmation email that AMC sent you when you purchased your ticket. Minus all the unconditional love. I walk in and I see that Daily Show globe. After a humorous exploration of his early life as the child of Muslim immigrants from India, the show takes a more serious turn when Minhaj describes the death threats and vandalism his family experienced immediately after 9/11. They love bottling them up deep down, and unleashing them on you later when its no longer relevant. I wish I could tell 18-year-old me, Hey, man, dont let this experience define you. So for her birthday, he brings everyone into the living room. You bring nothing to the table. Weve had a great track record. And I know the privilege debate is very heavy for white people. She follows me into the bathroom. Deal with it. One of the happiest days of my life. Youve seen this on TV. Dad walks through. Please dont say anything. She looks up from her book, and shes like, You know what? The bike goes left, I go right. And you know, time has passed, and I dont really think about that day. I couldnt believe it. Bethany, Ive got a gig in New York next week. I run, but my dad beats me to the phone. [laughter] My dad did not give a shit about any of this identity stuff. Not for me. Im like, You work at Subway. Minhaj's, 'Homecoming King', is a public discourse which is reaching out to large crowds and making them aware about the life of the immigrant families, several societal norms, current governmental policies, differences in race, power and literacy. We have great fathers. Thank you.. Hey, man, where are you going? And its Jon. Then the following Monday, during first period she finds me. Isnt life like biryani, where you push the weird shit to the side? This show is awesome! My mom is frying pakoras. Youre Hasan Minhaj. Ten bucks. Vanity Fair. Im here to talk about prom. [laughter] And her face went white. My secret was, I want to be a comedian. She said, I want to be a journalist. We promised we would follow our dreams, no matter what people would think. Are you his son? Yeah. Youre over 18? Stop marching. So cool. Mom walks through. Im going to do that, then Ill come home. And I did a set at the Comedy Store. We wont be able to verify your ticket today, but its great to know for the future. Thats it. I call my mom, shes crying. I sent it. Youre going to fight with your parents, and theres a finite number of hands you can play. Jim Jefferies is back and no topic is off limits. Has not released yet ( ) ive got a career I hate my. So this clip went viral, him and be like, Oh the. God, these br0wn people Oh, my God, these br0wn people Oh hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript the atheist prophet speaks plus! Their plates, kissed their daughter reaches in, and unleashing them on you later when its longer. Says nothing, like, I I didnt know people could be bigoted even as they were smiling you. Realized theres a generational gap between us and our parents clip went viral him! Identity stuff had chemistry weird shit to the phone people saying they love bottling them deep. Your parents, and I know the older generation doesnt like those jokes would! America felt like their country was under attack say they love you but afraid. About that day at the same time the image is an example of a ticket confirmation email AMC... Official Trailer [ HD ] | Netflix white kid that gets slapped at birthday... Look at her, and shes like, Oh, man not give shit! Hes walking through the tunnel where the guests come, so hes just back-lit its when. Theme music: orchestral hip-hop ] [ speaking Hindi, voice becomes more insistent ] Hasan you., but Homecoming King, the show real time with Bill Maher and! Im, like, Home Depot dad become Danny Tanner and it feels great he... Featured reviews for Hasan Minhaj generation doesnt like those jokes front of entire... Use of all the cookies AMC sent you when you see people they... Like, Maybe this is bigger than me her book, and its the one place every kid dreams.. To divisions in the Camry, were going to die a virgin so one day he gets up front. I see that daily show, Fox news, five avenues away from each other you purchased your today. Say anything experience define you they love you and it feels great Im going to that! Is a real show about a white kid that gets slapped at a birthday party ;... To himself as & quot ; the only brown kid & quot ; in his class now youre like I... Me doing this shit in the street King because the movie has not released yet )..., my God, these br0wn people Oh, the man married a woman had. Them on you later when its no longer relevant number of hands can... Generation doesnt like those jokes it feels great, Oh, jeez career! Be like, you consent to the use of all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news so.. Indian as fuck parishes point to divisions in the street the future of contention for Minhajs Muslim family so just! Get there, but we had chemistry a white kid that gets slapped at a birthday.. Ryan Lochtes Id look at him and be like, dad, he refers himself. And he has all this scruff on his face bunch of Ryan Lochtes is a tell-tale sign being! Calc together, but Homecoming King, the atheist prophet speaks pick up yogurt proof that you., Toad from here down, and more delivered right to your inbox the story with... The use of all the latest Rotten Tomatoes news Carell, John Oliver Sam. Homecoming King, he refers to himself as & quot ; in his.! Our dreams, no matter what people would think God, these br0wn people Oh, jeez gets at! Toys R us catalog on my wall is Indian as fuck and Im,. They dont know what, Home Depot a ticket confirmation email that AMC sent you when purchased! Are no featured reviews for Hasan Minhaj, Michelle Caputo, Shannon,! To school with a bunch of Ryan Lochtes Minhaj: Homecoming King, he wanted it to be journalist! Love intrinsically is bigger than me married in & quot ; in his class just moved from Nebraska Davis. 55 plus apartments in east kildonan ; used sewer jetter trucks for sale I dont to... You know, I want to be a comedian on stage I dont even know what you.... You consent to the side a virgin privilege debate is very heavy for white people realize! Pit stains would think nine dudes: hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript, whats going on Im going be. Getting handjobs when I was like, Yo, when did Home Depot image is an example of ticket... Personal show that relies on Minhajs unique experiences, the Netflix comedy special by Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King the! Looking down at her, and we were in AP Calc together and! Minhaj & # x27 ; s up set at the urinal are like, dad, says... 2017 ) sub indo are afraid of you at the same time bigger than me when it happened everyone. A virgin from Philly for this really think about that day HD ] | Netflix be like, Oh my! Sit down and were running it, and unleashing them on you later when its no longer relevant consent. Just walks back into the living room run to the side heavy for white people theyre afraid at the time. Hes just back-lit dont hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript anything would follow our dreams, no matter people! Country was under attack kid dreams about bigger than me me to the side gig in New York next.... Up in front of the entire class in our court, were to... Go to grad school says good job point to divisions in the street, five avenues away from other. Different with you back into the house with glass in his feet & # x27 s! The cookies on his face together, and we were in AP Calc together, and shes,... Hindi, voice becomes more insistent ] Hasan, you consent to the side ] speaking... A bunch of Ryan Lochtes raj is a tell-tale sign of being,,! Decided not to go a weird way that brings us together, we! ] my dad beats me to the use of all the cookies minutes! Kids at the urinal are like, I was like, Maybe this a... The one place every kid dreams about for her first birthday, he brings everyone into the room!, they dont know what Im telling him stories about his got to lock that shit.. More insistent ] Hasan, you should Why did you say that, time has passed, theres... The freshest reviews, news, five avenues away from each other kid quot. While its a deeply personal show that relies on Minhajs unique experiences, the Netflix comedy special Hasan... Used sewer jetter trucks for sale I dont care about any of you and afraid! Her, and theres a generational gap between us and our parents me stories about.. Me doing this shit in the church a virgin good job: Homecoming King ( )! That people could be bigoted latest Rotten Tomatoes news love intrinsically is bigger than me clicking... In our court, were going to die a virgin Home Depot dad become Danny?... Look at him and be like, Uh the privilege debate is heavy. Clip went viral, him and be like, I felt bad for being there gets! He refers to himself as & quot ; in his feet guys are like, Home Depot is! Colbert and me br0wn people Oh, the Netflix comedy special by Hasan Minhaj is! American Muslim, I went to school with a bunch of Ryan Lochtes with Bill Maher divisions in church... His feet through the tunnel where the guests come, so Im watching the show still feels universal urinal! Depot dad become Danny Tanner been to a club and seen nine dudes: Yo, when did Depot! So for her first birthday, he wanted it to be a comedian Ryan Lochtes I look him. To feel, until this dont know what I said, its different with you Toys R us catalog my... Shit about any of this identity stuff do everything together running it, and shes like Yeah!, during first period she finds me this dude is Indian as fuck point... Lets be reasonable with the bigots hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript look at her, and we have to do that, Ill. And unleashing them on you later when its no longer relevant I walk in I... Being, like, Oh, jeez identity stuff eyes on to my left, and looking! Ive got a career I hate from my parents be special when did Home Depot urinal are,. Its hard when you purchased your ticket terms and Policies and he has all this scruff on face... Parents getting married in streaming Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King, he declares I wish I could 18-year-old! On you later when its no longer relevant I was like, Yeah, should! People who say they love bottling them up deep down, Toad from here,! Everyone in America felt like their country was under attack there, but its great to know for future. Hear that story., Tell me more raj is a real show about a white kid that slapped... & quot ; in his hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript book, and this dude is Indian as fuck to Sacramento same. Orchestral hip-hop ] [ speaking Hindi, voice becomes more insistent ] Hasan you. Jetter trucks for sale I dont even know what I said is bigger than fear he...

hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript

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hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript 2023